To millennials, sex is no longer cool

121310sex

The Washington Post Tuesday published a report that sex, something that was and still is near and dear to my heart (and other parts of my body) is declining among millennials.

Those born from about 1990 are more concentrated on work, video games and the pressures of modern life.

The study says the number of millennials haven’t had sex since turning 18 is increasing.

Noah Patterson, 18, of Bellingham, Washington, says he’s still a virgin and has no interest, at this point, in sex.

“I’d rather be watching YouTube videos and making money,” he says. Sex is “not going to be something people ask you for on your resume.”

Isn’t he curious about actual sex? “Not really,” he said. “I’ve seen so much of it. . . . There isn’t really anything magical about it, right?”  He admits watching porn on his computer.

Tara Bahrampour of The Washington Post, asked Bellingham if he was even interested in sex.

“Not really,” he answered. “I’ve seen so much of it. . . . There isn’t really anything magical about it, right?”

Now that is shocking.

I turned 18 in 1965 and was already enjoying an active sex.  Maybe it helped that I started my first reporting job as a daily newspaper reporter at 17 for The Roanoke Times in Virginia, had an apartment and fortunate relationships with young ladies who were willing to spend time in my bed.

I married at 21 and my future wife and I had lived together for more than a year.  Neither of us were virgins when we met.  It didn’t matter.

We divorced four years later because we married too young and changed in different directions.

When I returned to single life, I found the rules of dating had changed dramatically.  It was 1973 — the swinging 70s — and many single women were using birth control pills.  Sexual diseases were limited primarily to syphilis and gonorrhea — neither of them fatal and were easily treated with penicillin.  Fortunately, I never contracted any sexually transmitted diseases.

My first date as a new single man consummated in bed.  It was more her idea than mine.  I had come out of the 60s, when some courtship was necessary before sex.  No more, I found.

Oral sex, at best a negotiable item in the 60s, was more widespread and routine when I ventured back into single nightlife in 1973.  I enjoyed both giving and receiving.

Over the next several years, I enjoyed consensual sexual relationships with a number of fascinating and charming women — ranging from a 19-year-old who surrendered her virginity to a 44-year-old divorced woman with one kid in college and another in the Marines.

Some were journalists, doctors, nurses, Realtors, secretaries, actresses, college and graduate students, educators and others in short and long-term relationships.  The overwhelming majority were loving, considerate and adventuresome.

While sex was part of our relationships, it was not a dominating one.  We enjoyed dining out, traveling, vacationing, attending concerts and plays, going to movies or long discussions on topics like politics, religion and relationships.

One did not take the end of our relationship well and she stalked me and others that I dated for months.  Another proposed, a reversal of roles.  I wasn’t ready and we both moved on.

Amy Davis and I met in 1978.  With both of us divorced, we had few illusions about marriage.  My reputation as a womanizer bothered her and it took several tries before she was even go out with me but perserverance finally worked, love won out and we married in late 1979 after a fun, adventuresome and intimate courtship.

Some of our friends predicted a short marriage.  Others had a pool on the the time that it would end.  No one won.  We celebrate our 37th anniversary this year.

The Washington Post story said pressures and stress of modern life and worries about building relationships lead to lives without closeness or sex between people nowadays.

That’s too bad.

I’ve been fortunate enough to enjoy sex for 52 years, after a woman 11 years older than me took me to a cabin, gave me my first drink of alcohol and my first night of sex with a woman.

It took me 35 years to finally give up alcohol.  I celebrated 22 years of sobriety on June 6th of this year.

As for sex, neither of us has a desire or need to stop.

I’m sorry millennials say they are too busy for sex or don’t find it “magical.”

Their loss.

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